This text is notation for guitar.
The lines in italic are sung.
Directions to a Song
Tune all the strings down one full step.
The chord of D starts the song.
Strum it once, slowly, with as little thought as possible.
The song has started.
Without hesitation, assume the best and worst outcomes in unison.
Immediately after the notes have died, sing:
“I was a dancer; you know how it goes. I learned to be a footstep on the ground.”
Think of a cat, arched and frozen, in front of a plastic snake.
Pluck each string on the instrument individually until you lose the image of the cat, arched and frozen in front of the plastic snake.
Begin to increase speed.
“Higher than clothes line, lower than a friend of mine, I must admit it’s strange, to be starting over again”
Sing the words, as a journalist might report a flood, or a fire.
Don’t be glum.
It’s not your house.
Play the chord of G while wanting it to be F.
You never know when you might miss something you’ve never had.
“God took scissors to sympathy. God was in my blood and in my balls. He was a true mistake. Shattered thigh bone like chalk.”
Think of yourself as a tourist and your instrument as an ugly souvenir.
Play the chord of D7 with relief, slightly more than is appropriate.
Perform this whole section as if you’ve been given something expensive you don’t want.
“She looked great in the headlights, but the flies came around and found the food. It’s not an area I’d like to look into, any further”
Something darker seems to have materialised.
Turn your instrument over and look at its back.
Keep your gaze steady, but unfocused.
There is a cameraman who looks as if he is from the 1970’s.
He takes his head from the viewfinder and looks you squarely in the eyes.
Don’t worry about a thing.
You’re only what appears to him in a ‘magic eye’ poster
He thinks it’s the 1990’s
“I made a drawing so small; I don’t know how the colours ever heard me call.”
Play the chord of A# repeatedly.
Consider the rhythm like a deer jolts in fright.
Fix your chord hand into the shape of crippling regret.
Place it on the neck of the guitar.
Push through the strings with your other hand.
All the while, listen to your teeth as they gently echo.
“Right away, it was understood. There was never any time, only ever firewood.”
Do you feel a sense of responsibility?
That’s a false sense of responsibility.
Strike the strings, as one of two people in a lift, waiting for their floor to arrive.
This is not the place to make friends – people might find it disconcerting.
Instead, turn to face the back of the lift, with your nose almost touching the wall.
Stay like this until the other person reaches their floor.
“Not only her insistence, but the miracles she worked that won the court.”
This part is the chorus.
You can hide here every so often.
Dispense the line coldly.
Like someone showing kindness, as if it’s a photograph.
Sing the chorus twice in a row.
Now go quiet, but stay inside the song.
Envying the silence of a crab shell.
It’s the most honest part.
The audience is uncomfortable about this.
Each second that passes feels like wet hair.
Break the silence with a key change.
Fold all you know about this section into a brittle suitcase.
Carry it to the next verse.
Everybody around you starts to clap.
The song’s not over.
“Where there was love, there were open gowns in kind, given to the nearest thing that fits inside”
Mouth the word ‘help’ across an empty car-park at night.
Produce a percussive sound by hitting the instrument with your hand.
Make its tone resentful, like a lover who is tired of finding loose change in her bed.
This is the elephant in the room.
Play three chords randomly, one after the other.
Repeat this three times in a row.
Make an awful mistake.
Repeat it, but louder this time, and at the speed of guilt.
It’s not really the loose change she is sick of.
“The one thing she wanted to know was why we have to burst so slow. Is it the action of an ugly brief moment that forgets to sleep?”
Play inquiringly.
Make royal your sense of inquiry.
Remember that section of different coloured tarmac just outside the video shop.
What if I tell you your heart is a giant polystyrene cup stuffed with all the words that describe loneliness?
Realise you are at the end of the song.
Detest nostalgia in real time.
Slow down the playing with the size of your self.
Stop playing.
The song ends.
